Premise 2: It is currently finals week.
Conclusion: Shit is currently weird.
Please excuse us, we've been studying philosophy, phenomenology, neurobiology of disease, sociology and after this week, we're gonna be in serious need of some psychology. Err...psychologist? Whatever, if it can't be that woman our parents made us see when we were thirteen years old and "difficult", we'll at least vent steam by complaining as loudly as we can about the difficulty level of our finals week and checking in at every library on campus across every social networking platform that we've discovered. Four square? Yep. Facebook? Check. Twitter? Check check. And now that we've pushed our finals-whining threshold to the point where we might have lost a few followers, we're going to blog about it.
Now that all of that's out of the way... let's get real.
Our lives are not difficult.
The only reason our finals week seems daunting come the end of Thanksgiving break is because we realize that instead of going to class and keeping up with reading, we've been slacking. And not even the way we used to slack freshman year. Back then we weren't not trying hard, we were just trying harder to be seen at every party (R.I.P. SigEp Safari 2010...you will live in infamy). Nope, now we're old enough to know better. Instead of going out 5 nights a week, as an alternative to Kant and Molecular Biology, we have been getting our money's worth on Netflix instant, online shopping for clothes we won't wear (truth: the last time we wore real clothes during the day and actually left the house was some time in early 2009), and stalking the freshmen online to see what kind of shenanigans we're missing out on.
Clearly, when we say that we are totally swamped and our professors are sadists, what we really mean is that we're well rested, all caught up on Gossip Girl, Breaking Bad, all those bad Netflix movies that we've never heard of, and that we're really excited about leopard print and the pink/red combos we're seeing on our favorite go-to shopping websites. As you can see, we tend to over-exaggerate the situation where our scholastic responsibilities are concerned, and this is never more true than during finals week. Oh, you stayed up 72 hours? We'll be willing to bet that at least 24 of those hours were spent social net-working about how much real work you have to be doing and finally finding time to figure out a degree plan or maybe even sending emails to family members you haven't spoken to in a while. Oh, you haven't had time to eat anything since last wednesday? We're onto you. We know you haven't had time to eat anything but surreptitious french fries from the Jester Wendy's at 3am. It'll be our little secret. (Unsolicited advice: stay away from the scale during finals week. You just don't want to go down that road--trust us.)
We all know what's really going on here. We're pretending to be ridiculously busy so we can act like our life is hard and that we in some way deserve all of the awesomeness that comes along with being a college student. But we all know the real story. College is just a 4 year procrastination of graduation. We are currently blogging for the first time in probably over a year just to avoid the studying that we successfully avoided all semester. When does it end?
Our guess is not any time soon. If you don't agree that three all-nighters and a caffeine headache are preferable to a semester of actual diligence, then you should probably stop reading this blog. That being said, loyal readers, welcome back to Disregard Males, Acquire Currency, and we can only hope that in some way we aided your avoidance of responsibility.
See you kids downtown on Thursday. We think that's a wrap for now.
