1. The obvious: it's two days instead of one. This seems like solid reasoning at first glance. Formals are awesome. Two awesome days are better than one. Somehow, this isn't usually how it plays out. Inevitably, a few freshman puke on the bus and don't make it out the first night. And then you have the classic senior year "my-liver-is-getting-too-old-for-this" hang over that pretty much puts them out of commission on Saturday. It is a rare creature that can make it through the whole weekend unscathed, and yet we keep coming back for more.
2. What happens at weekend formal, stays at weekend formal. Much like OU weekend, boys use out-of-town formals as an excuse to behave badly in an out-of-town setting. That might have worked in the 80s, sugar, but now we have iPhones. Pole dance on the party bus at your own risk.
3. Their dates can't get away. There are few things a frat boy hates more than spending daddy's money on a gal all night just to have her tell the cab driver, "Oh, turn here for my place!" at the end of the night. This way, getting their date to go home with them is a sure thing. However, gentlemen, be advised: just because she may be forced to sleep in the same bed with you doesn't mean she has any intentions of doing anything but sleeping. If she's out of your league at home, taking her to Dallas and putting her up at the Ramada Inn isn't going to magically unzip her dress for you. Poor sap.
It doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out why fraternity boys' eyes get glassy at the thought of a weekend away with a hot date and no rules. But what about the ladies? Why do we agree, year after year, to attend these functions?
1. FOMO. (Translated: fear of missing out.) Inside jokes are King in the game of thrones that is sorority life, and missing such a monumental event as a weekend away with all your closest friends and their dates is tantamount to missing spring break. If you don't go, you won't understand what everyone is talking about when they start talking about Fabrizio, that one pledge they nicknamed who stole a sombrero and ran around the hotel in his underwear. Do you really want to miss out on those kind of priceless memories? We didn't think so.
2. The Pictures. Sad but true. Weekend formal gives you not one but FOUR chances to get a new profile-worthy snapshot. You've got the bus ride up there in your PFG with your newest bow in your hair. Then of course you have Friday, with your killer bandage skirt and silky top that you've been saving for this very night (not wearing it for four Thursdays in a row was such a trial...you should really be canonized). Then you have Saturday, in which you will be wearing some adorable sratty-casual outfit while you do whatever activity is planned. And then finally, the piece de resistance, you have formal Saturday night! By this time you will be so dehydrated from all the drinking that you'll look so skinny! If this weekend doesn't provide some quality images of you, you probably need a facial or highlights or something. A girl can only get so many chances.
3. Points toward the "Number-of-Formals-I-got-Asked-To" competition. Don't pretend you don't know what I'm talking about. Every formals season you always have those few friends who were asked to eight formals and you spent two weeks listening to them complain about how they've run out of dresses to wear because they've already borrowed dresses from everyone who is as skinny as they are (ugh. bitch.) Girls will even go to formals with guys they don't like just to get points in this competition. "Ewmahgawd, you went to formal with Henry!?" "Yea, I know, but I got to go to [insert fraternity here] formal, so whatever. How many formals did you get asked to?" Pro tip: weekend formals are double points.
There are obviously other reasons guys and girls might choose to attend. They might genuinely like each other and want to have an awesome time. You go, Glen Coco. Or maybe they just really like to party, regardless of hookups, pictures, whatever. (We're not buying it). The important thing to remember while on an out of town formal is that most people have an agenda. Here's our advice.
1. Avoid creepers, especially if he is staying in the same room with you. You are well within your rights to ask him to sleep on the couch. #disregardmalesacquirecurrency
2. Bring a portable steamer. That Shoshanna dress you brought for the weekend is going to be rough by the time it gets to Dallas, y'all.
3. Bring some snacks. Sometimes in the chaos of formal weekend, we forget to eat. This is a good strategy for looking skinny come Saturday, but bring some Cheez-Its so you don't die. Also, your date will love you.
4. Don't forget your fakes, some extra cash and your trusty bottle of Advil.
5. DO NOT act a fool. You don't want to be the subject of that hilarious inside joke all the girls at the neighboring sorority house are gabbing about. I mean, we are still talking about that girl two years ago who threw up Oreos in her hair and it looked like mud... do not be "that girl".
And remember, if your date doesn't look like this by the end of the night...
...then you aren't doing it right.
We'll see you this weekend, ladies and gents.
No comments:
Post a Comment