The GaGa Episode

Rah-rah-ah-ah-ah
Roma-Roma-ma-ah
Ga-ga-ooh-la-la

We were really excited about today's topic because it means we get to do our favorite extracurricular activity: online Gaga-stalking.

Last year, Lady GaGa forever left her mark on the music industry with her eccentric fashion choices, freak-deaky concept videos, and her overall aura. We remember the first time we saw her face with an electric blue flash of lightning across it on the side panel of our web browser as we were facebook stalking. Today, you can't walk down the street without seeing, hearing or, in our case, thinking of madame GaGa. But what is it about this bleach-blonde latex-clad freakshow that keeps us coming back for more?

GaGa's sound has brought something new and dynamic to the music scene. Her synthetic beats and melodies pulsate through your body like no artist we have ever experienced before. GaGa spares no crumb of creative genius when creating her complex rhythyms, and her voice is like a choir of cherub angels descending from Mount Olympus, bringing a message of defiance to our ears. We love to get down to bass-heavy dance anthems like Poker Face and Bad Romance while we dance the night away at the Lodge and Peckerheads, but we mustn't forget about her poignant ballads such as Speechless.

Originally Stefani Germanotta, this Italian American beauty is our favorite guidette (watch out Snooki). Gaga made her rise up from suburbia, to NYU, to burlesque clubs, to music industry big-hitter. It's hard to believe that last may she was opening for The Pussy Cat Dolls (Pussy who? meow). Now she's headlining non-stop tours and making controversial videos with diva-pal Beyonce. GaGa seems larger than life these days...but really, we think she's just like us (except edgier, thinner, and a bit more androgynous). GaGa has sold out tours, wacky bubble outfits and a seemingly endless stream of 8-inch platform heels, but at the end of the day she's just a girl with a dream that's making it happen. We think that one of the reasons that GaGa is so accessible to the mainstream (despite her tendency to spout fake blood from her corset) is that we can all see a little of ourselves in her. GaGa is the first of her kind, so fiercely original, and so not afraid to be herself. She's doing what we all wish we could do sometimes: be ourselves, get a little crazy, and not care who's watching.

BUT LET'S GET REAL. It's also about the clothes.

Gaga often sports this dress in various colors by designer Thierry.

She wore this on tour in korea. We think Fiji should hire her out for Studio 54 next year and have her wear this while hanging from the ceiling. Just a thought...

GaGa barbie!

...and then she has those outfits that have made her infamous. Ribbit.

Oh wait...that's not Lady GaGa...

There is no debate about it: GaGa is a kook. But whether you love her or hate her, she's revolutionized the music industry, electrified the media, and shaken up popular culture as we know it. She's relevant, large-and-in-charge, and we can't wait to see what she'll do next.

Now, for all of you who aspire to GaGa-hood, we've devised some tips to help you reach that goal. Good luck, little monsters!

Top Ten Ways to be like Lady Gaga:

1. Whenever you think it would be inappropriate to go out of the house not wearing pants, do so anyways. But make sure (in the wise words of Samantha) you "have that whole 'situation' taken care of."

2. Invest in various wigs.

3. Adopt a quirky/fierce pseudonym.

4. When your boyfriend pisses you off, poison him.

5. Never break character

6. Enroll in vocal and dance lessons immediately.

7. Be edgy.

8. Shop at hardware stores for going-out clothes.

9. Have ambiguous genitalia.

10. Never apologize for being you.

And with that, we leave you with some inspiring words from GaGa. "Some women choose to follow men, and some women choose to follow their dreams. If you're wondering which way to go, remember that your career will never wake up and tell you that it doesn't love you anymore."

We couldn't have said it better ourselves, Gaga.

The Texting Episode

"Hey! what's up?"

"nm"

"Oh cool! Me neither! I'm just studying"

30 minutes later

"ok"

"Alright, it was so good talking to you. We should hang out sometime. See you around"

"k"

Has this ever happened to you? Because this is how most of our texting conversations with the opposite sex play out. But its not the opposite sex that's the problem (well, most of the time), its the concept of texting itself. Texting is appropriate for when you have a quick question or need to tell a girlfriend that you just bought those fabulous new platinum Tory Burch shoes from her spring cruise line. It's a medium for communicating simple information...so why are all of our deepest relationships these days supposed to be based on some cyber-font that was sent to a satellite and back?

"So are you guys talking?"

"Yeah, we text everyday!"

Lame people. What happened to the days when you could pick up the phone and have a real conversation with someone? Just last week a friend of ours freaked out when her boy toy didn't respond to her within 5 minutes of sending him a text. Ok fine that was us, but still. Back in the 19th century, a girl had to wait months for her letter to ride horseback all the way across the country and back...and that's if it wasn't lost along the way or if her lover didn't get small pox and die (Oregon Trails must have been a bitch).

But seriously people, just because your homegirl or your most recent affair doesn't instantly respond to your attempt at a deep and meaningful conversation, that doesn't mean you will end up alone. So turn off the Death Cab album, and pull yourself together. If you take a good look around, you'll see that you don't need the affection of some frat-daddy to make you feel adequate. Who needs the approval of a 20 year old male with a beer belly and Daddy's last name as his only credibility? It's not that hard to pull off Ralph Lauren and a pair of croakies.

So stop checking your phone every five seconds and telling yourself you were just looking at the time. Because texting someone "What's up?" every other day won't get you the Tiffany's Lucida Three-Stone diamond ring. And while you're at it, get off facebook chat. If he didn't chat you five minutes ago, staying online that much longer won't magically alter the universe and give him the sudden urge to talk to you.

Woman up. For realz.

We hope George W. is texting Laura.

The Round Up Episode

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times...it's the Monday after Round-Up.

The reality of returning to 8am classes may sting, but at least we have the blissful memories...or lack of Round Up memories to get us through the week. Round Up is that magical time of year that all of greek life anxiously awaits from the very start of frat season in August. It is a time in which sorority girls across campus proudly don the letters of their respective organizations in anticipation of the arrival of fledgling fratstars. You see, Round Up is really a mini-rush cleverly disguised as the frat party to end all frat parties. Each year, we rush (no pun intended) to our favors chair, check in hand, to purchase various neon goods ranging from tee shirts to fratpacks to sorority emblazoned water guns (which we are certain held something a bit stronger than water). Each girl, after having decked herself out in gear, then proceeds to give away the extras to all of the most delicious looking frat daddies that she knows. We prepare for weeks, go downtown on thursday night to stretch our livers for the weekend to come, and then the next afternoon it happens: the rushees arrive, and the partying begins in earnest.

Round Up, while it is one of the most amusing weekends of the year, is not for the faint of heart. One must brave the stampede of "randos", the inebriated stupor of young fratlings, and the inevitable frat wounds. See Picture Below:

As you can see, sacrifices must be made in order to have a successful Round Up. But fear not, little miss Ashleigh is in full recovery mode, unfortunately, cell phone number 4 did not survive the fall.

As mentioned before, the randos do come out to play during Round Up. Even though we are happy to share the wonders of being Greek, the long lines for beverages and the constant swatting away of high school boys can become a bit of a nuisance. As we have said, sacrifices must be made. However, we would like to applaud the Gamma Delta Iotas (better known as God Damn Independents), for bravely repping their "letters" and sporting the catchy phrase "GDI or Die". WE personally would chose "Die"...but to each her own.

All in all, Round Up will be greatly missed, but you won't hear us complaining about the return to regular Frat-dom. So keep your frat-packs and other frat-ccessories in a safe place, because Round Up 2011 will be here before you know it!

We leave you with these wise words of an original fratstar, Winston Churchill, "Some men change their party for the sake of their principles; others their principles for the sake of their party."

The Pilot Episode

Oh, hey.

Welcome to our blog. You may be confused as to the purpose of this blog. That makes three of us. It's okay if you didn't understand that last comment, Ava didn't either.

Basically, we wanted to give you a few minutes each day to spend some quality time in our heads. You're welcome. We were thinking that it would be somewhere between a sitcom, a journal, a funny commentator show, a circus, a how-to article, a dramedy, a reality show, and a chick flick. As you can see, our concept is very fluid. Basically, our goal is to brighten your week with our amusing anecdotes and witty repartee. Again, you're welcome.

We hope you enjoy your soon-to-be daily dive into our world. What will this consist of you ask?

Ava: "I'm sad I didn't get to see you this weekend!"

Paige: "You did."

Ava: "...what?"

We think this explains a lot. Ava and Ashleigh are sorority sisters at the University of Texas who have been blessed with an excellent sense of humor (that few people fully appreciate), a lot of free time, and an overwhelming desire to tell everyone about our awesome lives.

Ava is a sophomore, is 5'2", and is known for making ridiculous comments that usually end up as facebook quotes on Ashleigh's page. She enjoys Sig Epic evenings, long intimate O-chem sessions at the PCL, and eating queso at the sorority house in the wee hours of the morning. Despite this Persian Princess's striking appearance, her inability to consort with the opposite sex provides hours of anecdotal entertainment for all.

Ashleigh, better known as Schap-a-licious, is a quirky freshmen known for her excitement over very, very mundane things. She always looks fierce. She always wins spring fling queen. And her inability to keep a phone for longer than two weeks is why we love her. Ashleigh's roommate Caitlin is very excited that she has a new outlet for, "stupid comments that have nothing to do with [her] and have nothing to do with [her] life."

We think that's a wrap.